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The Pressure of Being a Melanin Mom

PRESSURE: the use of persuasion, influence, or intimidation to make someone do something


The pressure of being a “MELANIN MOM” is one to make anyone go crazy. We are known to be the glue that holds everything and everyone together. We are the backbone of major success. We are the foundation of many. Can you … imagine … the pressure of being a “Melanin Mom?”


Point A: A Happy Family


“Do you know your dad?” “Are your parents together?” “Were your parents ever married … you’re basically a bastard.” “Baby momma? … Baby daddy?”


Unwanted questions and statements that we hear way too often in the black community. Most moms do not want to be a “baby momma”, especially with all of the negative connotation that comes with those words. Some melanin moms try so hard not to become part of the statistics that they decide to stay in an unhealthy relationship. One that doesn’t elevate them, but brings them down, because they don’t want to be another “SINGLE BLACK MOM/BABY MOMMA”


Point B: Breaking Generational Curses


Most of us are trying to break generation curses (not just financial curses). We are trying to break the cycle that runs deep and habits that needs to be broken; and it starts with us. The pressure that comes with holding yourself together while taking on such a huge task (we’re talking one person- YOU- deciding to stop the bad habits that have been in your family for G.E.N.E.R.A.T.I.O.N.S) can take a toll on your mental and physical health.


Point C: Being the “BEST MOM”


I am assuming that we are all familiar with the “black parenting style”, but we also have somethings that we told ourselves we would change if we ever became a parent. Well, the pressure of making sure that your offsprings are genuinely happy, don’t have to hustle as you did, being able to build an actual relationship with them, protecting them, guiding them, and so much more without losing yourself; may have you questioning and wondering if you are doing a good job or not.


Personally, my biggest fear is failing because if I do I will not be able to provide for my daughter the way I would like to. I put a ton of pressure on myself that it starts to become overwhelming. I am learning to turn the knob and release that pressure. My pressure is honestly fear and fear has no room for where God is present.